So She Ran Away In Her Sleep...

thefantasticten:

harrypotterandtheblog:

Can I take a moment to talk about this? So when we first meet Ten he is happy, I mean really happy. He just regenerated after being a war torn broken man into being this energetic happy man. He has been changed, not just regenerated changed but he has been changed by Rose. He sees that life isn’t all in ruins just because you’ve lost something, he is shown the beauty of the universe again and it is fantastic. The regeneration is just the final piece of the puzzle in healing him. Sure season two Ten can still have his Last of the Time Lord moments but we see them less and less because he isn’t thinking about it as much, he’s thinking about the present because he is truly happy.

Then Doomsday happened. He was broken again. He lost what was making him better and happy and whole, he lost Rose. Rose had been his shinning beacon leading him into happiness and healing. And then in a flash she was gone.

We saw in Turn Left that if it hadn’t been for Donna in the Run Away Bride Ten would have been so broken that he would have ended up killing himself from the flooding Thames. And then there was Martha. There were times when he really didn’t appreciate Martha because after everything he had been through he had lost someone else, someone who had meant the entire universe to him. He was still recovering, even when he was with Donna again he never fully recovered.

But before being reunited with Donna, the Doctor met the Master again. First the Doctor is at the end of the universe, everything his dying but around him are the indomitable humans. There had been whispers of another Time Lord and then Martha comes running back, Professor Yana had a fob watch. You can see it in the Doctor’s eyes, he hopes that it’s a friend of his, for once things will be alright and the he’s no longer alone. But it’s the Master, and he tries to kill them, leaving them at the end of the universe. Then comes the year that never was, the Doctor is reduced to a tired old man and all he can do is sit there as planet Earth is destroyed, humans are being ripped apart and killed and there is nothing he can do. And his friend, his companion she is forced to walk through all of the destruction because he can’t do anything. He is forced to live with the knowledge that the people he had tried to save were reduced to killing machines, machines that were killing their ancestors. To add to it his TARDIS has been cannibalized and turned into a Paradox Machine. When it is finally over he is left with nothing again. Jack has his Torchwood team and Martha has her family, and he is left alone.

Then he meets Donna again. And he is healing and happy, still missing Rose because he will miss her forever but he’s no longer angsting and sad. With Donna he is back to the way he was with Rose, after the regeneration, being happy and energetic, loving life and enjoying traveling the universe again, he still has angsty moments but he is smiling again and that’s what matters.

Bad Wolf. He hears those words again and the Doctor is a rush of emotions, Rose is coming back, but the universe could be ending, but Rose is coming back. And he’s with her again and their running towards each other and then there’s the Dalek and he’s shot. He’s regenerating again and he’s going to have to change on Rose right after getting her back, but being brilliant and being the Doctor he pours all the energy into his handy spare hand. But the TARDIS is taken onto the Crucible and he reveals his soul to his companions. Donna is dead and the TARDIS is dead, to his belief and it’s basically the end of the world. Then the TARDIS is there and Donna is there and he is there. It’s a duplicate him. Then by Donna being the most important person in the whole of creation, the brilliant person she has always been, they make it out alive.

Then the Doctor has to make a choice, and he gives Rose up. He gives her and him the one adventure he could never have. He lost the love of his life to himself. Then Donna’s memory has to wiped and his best friend forgets all about him. He’s left alone again.

In the specials we see how he is, broken, alone and dangerous. He’s not himself, not the angsty him he was with Martha or the amazingly happy him with Donna and Rose, it’s ten times worse than when he was with Martha.

In the End of Time the Master is back, the Time Lords are back and the Doctor is living his nightmares. By some miracle he survives, and this broken angsty Doctor is sighing with relief because he is still alive but wonderful, brilliant, jeopardy friendly Wilfred Mott is stuck, about to die. So the Doctor is the Doctor and sacrifices himself for little old Wilf.

The Doctor gets his reward, he goes back and he looks at all his companions and he is so proud, in every single one of them. Proud that he got to meet them, travel with them and watch them grow, proud of what they’ve become and proud that once he’s gone they’ll be fine. He’s seen everyone, except one, the one person he loves with both his hearts completely, the one thing he believes in…Rose. But his Rose is gone, the only version of Rose Marion Tyler left in the universe was untouched, unchanged, she was fresh and young and he wasn’t her Doctor saying goodbye, he was a drunk stranger on New Years day. He says goodbye to the love of his life without her ever knowing.

What’s sad about his “I don’t want to go” isn’t the lines themselves it’s what he means. He doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to regenerate, he was ready even though he was scared, he had been through so much heartbreak he needed a fresh start, an untouched Doctor like his untouched Rose. The “I don’t want to go” is that he didn’t want to go alone. Ten had been the most human of the Doctor’s, relying on humans not only for company but to fix him and heal him. After needing humans so much during his time Ten just didn’t want to go alone. He wanted someone there, a hand to hold, he wanted Rose Tyler standing against a pillar with her kiss fresh on his lips, he wanted Martha smiling at him, Donna hugging him, he just wanted someone to be with him. After relying so much on people, needing human love and contact he just wanted a hand to hold as he left. He didn’t want to go alone, he didn’t want to be alone.

  There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe: warp drive, worm hole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold. -The Tenth Doctor

Don’t mind me I’m just crying.

Why??? The regeneration was hard enough!!! For me, that was just last year since that’s when I really got into Doctor Who…I still can’t get over it. Dunno if I ever will. David will always be my Doctor and this is just…I’m gonna stop now before I lose it.

(Source: tennantsextra)